Thursday, March 22, 2012

Blog tour- Fear, Faith and Patience

When I first made the decision to record the events that had happened to me within the last five years as an educator, I believed that I was doing it to simply keep record of things as a personal memoir. I always had a desire to write books and share with the world whatever God placed on my heart; but I did not envision that my first book would discuss the most trying and difficult times of my life. I never imagined that my name would be in headlines across the nation. I never once thought that people outside my sphere of influence would ever hear my voice; but over the years, my name became one that people admired, respected, praised, despised, or feared. I realize that all the things that I had been through thus far were future testimonies of God’s saving grace and power, which would be used to help others in dire situations, and would also draw many to Christ.
There were a few people who told me that it was not a good idea to put my story out there; that I should just forget about what had happened to me, and move on with life. I heard their advice, and I asked the Lord what to do. I could have kept silent about my story and just let time erase all things, but I couldn’t resist the unction to speak once again. It’s like when Jeremiah told the Lord that he would not speak anymore because the people did not believe the Word given to him; but the message of God burned like an unquenchable fire in his soul. How do you contain such unction? How do you tell the Lord, “I won’t speak anymore because it cost too much”? I tell you, it is virtually impossible to restrain such unction. And from that, I realized that it was not my job to worry or fear what others may think or say, but to do what I do best, and that is to speak out.  
When I began constructing this book, I asked the Lord to help me consider how to format it. Most books are broken up into selective chapters to help the reader transition from one topic to the next; and although I tried to do that, it didn’t feel authentic to the nature of my story. 
The incidents that most people are aware of are not isolated moments, and I have attempted to share with the reader the context of everything to show how it all eventually led to my arrest on November 9, 2010, and my eventual deliverance. Because so much had happened within a few years, I have broken my book into two separate parts. The first portion of my book provides some background information, and also tells the story of my first four years at Rodriguez High School in Fairfield, California through chronological narration; while the second half of the book is divided into daily journal entries that record the events after my arrest, and the emotions I went through while enduring this test.
Throughout the book, the reader will notice that I go from moments of fear to faith to patience. That’s where the title comes from. At times, I am very confident and strong in my faith, and other times I express real fears that I had during the course of the years. But through it all, I had to learn to let patience have its perfect work in me. Patience shows that we are able to wait on God to do what only He can do. My patience is proof that I believe God to give me my breakthrough and my miracle.
Through my story, I want people to see how God’s strength and power were with me immensely throughout these five years. Some will sympathize with the story; others will criticize. But ultimately I pray that my story will show how even when we are in our lowest state, we have someone fighting for us in our corner. Whenever we feel inept to affect change in our society and especially the schools, God gives us the wisdom and might to do what’s right, even in the face of public scrutiny and professional backlash.

My Review: When a person makes a decision to write a memoir or a story that is a personal testimony,  I applaud them for their willingness to open up the bad and ugly events of their life for the purpose of hoping someone will benefit. 
As I read this book not only did I understand the frustration, humiliation, hard work, tears, and finally exhaustion the author, Felecia Killings went through. I've been there done that on a smaller scale and this book definitely rekindle a few emotions for me.  
Felecia Killings lives by principal and that is the hardest thing to live by in this world.  When an injustice is done and you, the David, decides to take on Goliath, it can lead to your life being destroy by untruths, propaganda, and loneliness in your environment.
PictureHer story provides us a glimpse of what can happen when you stand against the wrong in a school system.  The book is full of supported emails, letters and other communications including newspaper articles that provide readers with outside sources as well as the information Ms. Killings writes about. 
At one point I felt it was to much evidence displayed in the story. I did skip a few of them. As I continued to read, I got the impression that this novel is a personal open journal. Its her way of informing those directly involved with 'inside' information that was not shared with them. Its her way of thanking the students and parents that stood by her during those turmoil times. Its a struggle that cannot be won with out Faith in God and prayer. The emotions are just to much to bear without God's existance in one's life. 
 Its good reading for someone working in a school system with the thought of implementing a big chance or tackle an injustice. I liked how the author, a profess Christian noticed how involved she became in the quest for justice and the injustice she was suffering that she forgot to take the burden to the Lord, and surrender to God.
I commend the author for taking the time to inform others of her struggle. Its not easy to open up negativity in one's life for the world to read and judge. I hope your story reaches the masses of people that will truly benefit and those that knew your story before it became a book and need the closure of knowing the truth.


  1. Interesting. Wishing Ms. Killings the best and she is definitely blessed.

  2. Thanks Sidne for joining us on Felecia's blog tour

  3. Thank you for your review and hosting this book today.

  4. I like the fact that the author uses other pieces of supporting documents to support the writing. It's never easy to write a factual account, particularly when it's so easy to involve the emotions. Wishing Miss Kissings success with her book.

  5. Queenie3/22/2012

    Sidne you always said someone else out their is going through worse. You are so right. I can only imagine. After your awful ordeal, I can't imagine how much worse it can get. I'm going to purchase this book just for personal insight. I also applaud Mrs. Felicia.

  6. Yes, everybody has a testimony. It's very courageous of the author to share her life with readers and I hope that those who read her book take away something to encourage them in their own lives.

  7. How great a challenge it must have been for the author to put all those years of trials into writing...but what a great relief too to be able to document her faith and growth in her personal testimony through it all. Kudos to her for sharing it for the world to see, to acknowledge, and to learn and grow from.

  8. Yvette3/27/2012

    I don't know if I could get pass anything like that. My heart goes out to Mrs. Killings. I do hope this has not deter her from teaching for teachers as her are need world wide. Be blessed all

  9. Thanks everyone for your comments and well wishes.

  10. Thanks to all for the wishes and prayers. Although my story, which I will continue in my next two books, is rare to hear, it is more common than people think. Making a name for myself is not my intention, for I am content in knowing that God knows me; but my books are an example of my way of giving voice to the countless educators that have unfortunately suffered abuse in this system. Just knowing that the books will be welcomed by many lets me know that I'm doing the right thing. I can only pray that God will bring forth the justice that is needed in order to restore holiness and righteousness for the sake of the next generation.